I am a Marvel fangirl, let me just make that clear. However I absolutely loved Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne, the three Christopher Nolan Dark Knight trilogy, Christopher Reeves' Superman movies, and Superman Returns. I enjoy ALL comic book movies when done WELL. I am one of the few who enjoyed Watchmen, everyone loved 300, and I love Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles( I think my auto correct is a pervert because girls popped up right after "Teenage" 😒). So what I am about to say is going to hurt loads of DC fans' feelings. However it dutifully needs to be done. BvS is an awful movie. Let's first take a look at the MCU, (Marvel Cinematic Universe ) how it has done 12 movies in 8 years and have collectively profited billions of dollars worldwide. Phase One (with the exception of the accursed Incredible Hulk movie) did an amazing and PATIENT approach to setting up the unique and clearly unrivaled beauty of the Universe. Kevin Fiege (the genius behind the force of nature that is MCU) has spearheaded this universe in a tasteful, methodical and previously unheard of way. He slowly introduced us to all the characters in stand alone movies, giving each Avenger their own spotlight before combining them in the outstanding first Avengers movie. We as fans got to hold the hand of the MCU and be led on a romantic and leisurely stroll, enjoying all the sights as we passed them by. Phase One was legendary, no doubt, and the incredible foreplay of the individual movies built us up to the orgasmic explosion that was The Avengers, that left the entire world smiling and satisfied. Hell yes, you read that correctly. To drive home my point in why the MCU outshines the DCEU I am going to metaphorically compare them to sex. You have been warned.
Now, determined to "put their cock in the fight" (I mean roosters perverts) DC decided to piggyback on the enormous success of an adjoining multi-hero comic book universe. At first I was disappointed at their lack of creativity to blatantly copy the idea that initially came from the Marvel muses, I became intrigued by the prospect of healthy competition and purely amazing cinema experiences that would spur Marvel into making even more incredible films. Also, face it, I love comic book movies and figured this was an interesting concept that would rekindle my love for DC. However that is not the case. DC being in such a hurry to go "toe to toe" with Marvel produced a completely lackluster performance piece that left the entire world scratching their heads. BvS was awful. It was rushed, sloppy, poorly edited and had numerous plot holes. Whereas Marvel wooed us, wined and dined us, then made incredible love to us repeatedly... DC took us to McDonald's then had lazy uninspiring alleyway sex to us in the backseat of a shitty car and "accidentally" shoved it hard and dry in the wrong hole. Marvel became the person you want to marry and DC became the jerk you renamed "Do Not Answer" in your contacts list.
I had to write this opinion after reading absurd blogs from idiot DC fans who claim that the poor critiques were from critics who are on Marvel's payroll...yes they are actually saying that... it's pathetic, sad and quite frankly untrue. The truth is a big fat pill that DC fans can't seem to swallow, and that is the BvS movie was really horrible. Their main argument that the critics were paid off is that opening week the box office was damn near broken. However in the following weeks they suffered a significant drop in ticket sales. To that, I say of course opening weekend did amazing, the world had been promised a face off between the two single most important comic book heroes of all time facing off in an epic duel. What we got was two hours of poop, a twitchy fidgety puny Lex Luthor, a murderous Batman (correct me if I am wrong but one of his main ideals is that he is against killing), a stoic and unremarkable Superman, and a 5 minute rush-job introduction to the rest of the Justice League. DC is so eager to be on the same level as Marvel (who spent 8 years properly getting to the point they have reached) that they forcibly shoved those 8 years they should have taken into 1 film and it shows. I can't stand how they allowed this monstrosity to rape the silver screen and tricked us by telling us that BvS was going to be a "total game changer" and the "best comic book film of 2016." I don't understand how they could even make these claims when Captain America: Civil War will be premiering in May. DC knew they had a shit show on their hands, it's why they only previewed it to WB employees, embargoed reviews until the film's release, and changed the release date so as to not be completely pummeled by Civil War (CW) at the box office.
Now tonight was the showing of the MTV Movie Awards. I only tuned in because I was promised a sneak peek of CW that was never before seen. So as I'm patiently waiting for the clip to play when I realize it's all a trap. MTV is apparently a DC/WB bitch boy as they preceded to spout nonsense about BvS being the biggest movie of the year and how Marvel people are "bitches" just bitterly making jabs at the people who are just plain old better at the conjoined movie universe business than DC. They proudly acknowledge that the award show is being filmed on a DC lot.... from what I could see is that it was all just sour grapes towards the MCU and the fact that the hyped up disaster that is BvS was completely and utterly disappointing. It's being a sore loser. Your movie sucked now get over it and do better. Instead of trying to figure out what makes Marvel so successful and then trying to do their own rendition of it, they do reshoots of Suicide Squad and try to make it more "light hearted" and "funny".....NO!!! OF ALL MOVIES TO LEAVE GRITTY IT'S SUICIDE SQUAD! It's almost as if the death of Heath Ledger has left a curse on the sets of WB because the MTV Movie Awards were awful, boring, and made no sense too.
Notes to DC: slow down, if you want to construct an entire Universe realize that God didn't make ours in one day so why make yours in one movie? Are you really that arrogant? You should have made a sequel to Man of Steal (MoS), then made a stand alone Batman movie, then a stand alone Wonder Woman movie, then a stand alone other Justice League member movie I really don't care who (the flash is unnecessary he has a whole tv show), and then batman v superman! Why rush it? BvS looks rushed it truly shows.
DC fans need to have some humility, realize that you seem incredibly bitter and delusional by trying to not only defend the hot mess that is BvS and the DCEU, but also trying to diss the originators, the MCU as well as trying to predict that CW will fail. CW and the MCU has not made the same mistakes such as poor character casting, nonsensical plots, and the complete alienation of the younger audiences. Can you imagine the 8 year old boy who loves superheroes and since the Marvel movies and MoS are pg-13, which seemed pretty suitable, is traumatized by the constant murdering going on. Someone gets his head blown off for literally no feasible reason, because Snyder (the director) felt like it. That's awful, little boys and girls want to see their favorite heroes duke it out. It's not like deadpool, a clearly adult comic book that has never been marketed towards children, it's Batman and Superman! They have cartoons of these characters, you can buy them on children's underwear. My thing is if you are going to be pg-13 be it! Don't go to the max of pg-13 where it's almost rated R and it originally was rated R and the movie got so chopped and screwed in editing, that T-Pain took a shit on it, to make it just barely become pg-13! It really shows! Now the mistake of DC is causing what I call bandwagon fans, to hop off the bandwagon. People are saying that BvS has rubbed them the wrong way so severely that they no longer want to see CW because they think it will suck too! Where is the logic in that? Of course the copycats aren't as awesome as the originals! Yes DC comics were established before Marvel but when it comes to a huge cinematic universe, Marvel had first dibs. DC saw a superhero v superhero smack down brewing in the MCU so they hurriedly slapped together the same concept using the most recognizable heroes in the entire world, released it months ahead of time to appear like they had the idea first, royally fucked it up, then began the nonsense that "if our movie is bad then CW will surely be worst." Excuse me? How is that even logical? The MCU have produced profitable and critically well received films that the fans love! Now after the disappointment that is BvS the bandwagon fans are all "superhero - ed out" without even giving CW the hard earned attention that they deserve. So yes, because of how horrid BvS was, opening weekend for CW won't be as insane as BvS, because people will surely be butt hurt after wasting their money on BvS. But after word of mouth, because face it CW is already being praised as the best MCU movie yet, the sales will skyrocket and surpass BvS in the long run, effortlessly making the 1 billion mark. With Iron man alone, his standalone movies rake in the dough. So combine him with the world wanting to see the all out superhero brawl, and a good 30 minutes of SPIDER-MAN, I can't see as to how DC fans think CW will fail and not do as "good" as BvS! These DC fans are so delusional it's laughable that they honesty believe that CW copied off of BvS, that CW will fail, that CW won't do as well as BvS. Honestly had BvS not changed their release date they wouldn't have set the records that they did. Of course it had a great opening weekend, it's Batman v Superman for crying out loud and it had no competition at the time of its release. There isn't anything else to watch at the movies at this moment, except now I'm sure Hardcore Henry will for sure steal what was left of the potential straggler viewers that could add to the profits of BvS.
In conclusion, the movie was bad. It was sloppily made, poorly edited, entirely too graphic for a younger demographic, and the plot made no sense. Take the criticism and make the next movie better, and hire a director who doesn't hate the characters. Cast people who are the embodiment of the character. Lex Luthor wasn't broken, so why did you try to fix it with the sniveling weakling that is Jesse Eisenberg? That was not the only poor casting choice, Ben Affleck as the dark knight? Seriously? After having the American Psycho himself completely murder the part just a few years ago? Casting should have picked a Christian Bale level actor! He was even intelligent enough to see the sinking ship that is the DCEU and say no thank you, the Dark Knight trilogy was a masterpiece and we choose not to associate it with this travesty of trying to "keep up with Marvel" by blatantly stealing their idea. I personally would have enjoyed BvS if it had been properly timed and properly done. It wasn't. I'm so sick of reading how the MCU sucks because critics and ticket sales say otherwise. Those are just the bitter sentiments of a few idiot DC fans. The truth is that BvS was poorly made, and CW is already being raved about. Cut the crap DC you look like a crazy bitter ex with erectile dysfunction while Marvel is busy giving the world the goods and is saved in everyone's phone as "BAE" get a life and get it together and don't ruin Suicide Squad because BvS was awful. I sadly see a pitiful knock off vying for relevance in the future of the DCEU, whereas the MCU carries a pretty big stick and doesn't have anything to worry about because for 8 years they've been giving us the business so know that the DCEU is listed as "Do Not Answer " until further notice. I for one am going to wait until Suicide Squad is not in theaters to watch it, it'd be smarter to save my money unless I hear otherwise from a reliable source. I however will be at the theater May 6th even if I have to sit by myself(since theater seats are weirdly chosen and often there are lone seats sporadically placed throughout the theater) because I already know that CW will deliver and leave me more than satisfied.
*final note*
I was initially flabbergasted that the world assumed that BvS would be better than CW. I always knew otherwise. Marvel is the originator of the connected universe. They spent 8 years building us up to this point. BvS was over reaching in an attempt to put their dog in the superhero v superhero fight and it clearly shows. How incredible it is to see critics only now saying what I've known all along. Before either movie premiered everyone said that BvS would be better and looking back on these 5 month old posts are hilarious. Marvel came out swinging and BvS looks incredibly stupid in comparison. Like most bullies they were all talk and swagger with no substance. Every DC fab is so delusional with their need to argue how Marvel is paying off critics instead of accepting that CW is the better movie and Marvel has the better universe. I plan to be there opening night for CW and help trample the box office record of BvS. I can't help but feel a little smug and incredibly proud as I have always been a Marvel fangirl ever since I was a little girl as my father is a marvel fan boy before me. I am delighted to pass the torch to my little girls as they LOVE THOR AND HULK and have action figures. There is nothing like seeing your childhood heroes come to life on the big screen and then finally winning the Marvel v DC fight on the silver screen (as they did in the crossover comic mind you) is a nerd-gasmic experience that only a true Marvel fan can feel. My constant arguing with DC idiots on forums for the past year has paid off with me being right. I always am. Let's see how much DC has to say after they break the box office records opening night/weekend then precede to reign supreme(like sorcerers) in the following weeks in a completely bizarro (just for you DC nerds ;*) reality from BvS (whose sales decreased exponentially with every coming weekend showing that opening night was a fluke of people being drawn to the brands and the premise then scampering away like rats from a sinking ship due to the content) showing once and for all who is "Big Daddy" in the world of comic book movies.
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