wtf wake up call

Seriously a wtf moment. Needing another miracle always needing a miracle. How did I get this far in life? Miracles thats how. I'm terrified. I know I shouldn't be but I am. I'm terrified. All I can think is, "omg I'm going to die!!!" And that is crazy talk because I know nothing for sure but adding up the facts of this past year isn't good. ..its bad...really bad. So earlier this year all my blood tests show a high white blood cell count. I had a huge amount if allergenic reactions later and I had a CT scan on my abdomen which showed my lymph nodes were all swollen. Later that month I discovered a pea sized lump at 1 o'clock on my left breast. I acknowledged it to my family it was brushed off because for some reason they believe I am a hypochondriac even tho Avery time I said something was wrong with me there really was. I literally walked on a broken knee with disconnected and torn tendons because no one believed me and convinced me it was all in my head ... until recently did I finally figure out that I know my body they don't. I had to sit through xrays and mris and orthopedic drs appointments where I had to endure being stared at like a psycho because they cant figure out how for 6 years I suffered like this. When I say everyone told me it's all in my head I look like an even bigger idiot. Back to the lump I ignored it for 4 months because I was told by unnamed family members that my knee was more important and that there is nothing in my breast. So I did. Fast forward 4 months and a knee surgery plus almost full recovery I get checked out because I'm having pregnancy symptoms and I know I'm not pregnant.  Had tests done and my tubes are tied.  But I am always tired always cold I have hypertension get really bad headaches "diagnosed as migraines, intense thirst and cravings for water and a crazy ridiculous need to pee. Had my urine checked no infections I have had this problem a lot. .wet myself a lot... embarrassing yes but I wanted to know why. ..now I'm wishing I buried my head in the sand like I did my knee. They believe it is diabetes insipidis.  A problem with the pituitary gland that is in my head below my brain.  Around the same spot my headaches have been in. The only logical cause of diabetes insipidis is pituitary cancer that has spread from breast cancer. Let me take a pause...feel the fear and shock I felt researching. Don't research anything. ..it ruins your life. The other causes are medicines I don't take, alcohol abuse (I don't drink) head trauma (nope) and brain surgery (nope) but breast cancer....I found a lump. ..a pea sized lump...in September... that pea is now a lima bean... and my breast hurt on the outsides and into my armpits. The lymph nodes in my neck are swollen but my tests for that were negative. ..I'm fat because I eat not a glandular problem...but I've lost weight. .suddenly. .without trying. ..but the lump itself...there is no pain. It sits in its fatty throne if breast tissue.  An enigma.  Taunting me letting me know everyday that it is there and I have no clue what it is and if it is what the Doctors think it is.  I sit here with the heat jacked up and a blanket and I'm still cold. I wrote this to rant. To let it out. Holding it in is doing more harm than good. Even though the odds are stacked against me...the symptoms looming in my face... I'm going to fight for my miracle.  Not just sit back and expect one. I cant give up. My girls need me. Fighter from my first day on earth, the umbilical cord twice around my neck couldn't stop me. As long as I hold on and pray...Signs Miracles and Wonders.  Peace